The Phone Courtesan

February 26, 2007, 10:56 pm
Filed under: Fantasy | Tags: , , , ,

Intense moments are the groundwork for memory, fantasy and legend.

Fantasy ~ playful imagination, a daydream satisfying some desire, illusion, fiction…

I think you get the idea.

Personally, I love fantasy. It is always perfect. I am the one who owns my fantasy. I allow it to lead me. I design the set and the scenery. I experience the senses. I allow my desires and the feelings of my fantasies to flow from me. I get to be the artist. I get to paint the canvas. I can make changes, each and every time. It is all made of my perception, my need of the moment. It is my personal solo journey. I don’t have to explain my desires to anyone. I risk nothing in fantasy, and may even gain a deeper understanding of myself.

I realize that fantasies are very private and intimate. After all, how often do we really share with another what we honestly think about when we masturbate?

I feel so honored when someone trusts their fantasy with me. Some fantasies derive from our real life past experiences and have remained so vivid and intense in our memories. They are comfortable and erotic. We can return to them and we can count on them, knowing in advance the pleasure the release will provide us. Some fantasies are new to us, and we can safely make them a bit more daring and dangerous.

There are no limits in our fantasies.

Valentines 2007
February 18, 2007, 6:45 pm
Filed under: Valentines 2007 | Tags: , , ,

I needed to wait a few days to make sure that I had in fact survived the media hype of being alone on Valentines Day. Luckily, I did. I say this tongue in cheek, as to me there is a huge difference to being alone on Valentines Day, and being lonely on Valentines Day. I am very fortunate, as I know now, in my wise older years, that it is a choice I make rather to be in a relationship or to be alone. I have also learned that I get to choose the ‘arms’ of that relationship, when I am in one. When you think about it, we all have many kinds of relationships that surround us. We give and receive from all of them on some level.
If you were ‘lonely’ and unhappy on Valentines Day – that makes my heart sad for you. And, I send wishes your way, so that by next year you can implement the various things needed to shape your life in a different direction. But, if you were alone – as I was, I hope it was as peaceful and relaxing to you as any other day of being alone can be.
I am attracted to men, and I love playing around with them – but to have a life together – 24/7, you have to be able to compromise. My happiest and saddest moment came when I realized that I did not want to compromise in the ways it takes for a long term committed relationship. For the most part, there has been a peace in that realization.
On the other hand – Bravo ( !! ) to those that can and do. My heart is touched, usually to tears when I see that older couple still walking hand in hand. There is such a comfortable togetherness that emanates from them. It is such a private intimacy to witness.
My wish for you on Valentines Day, and everyday, is really very simple. I hope you know yourself, and that you are content with that person.

February 4, 2007, 7:34 am
Filed under: Masks | Tags: , , , ,

I am so often asked about my use of masks.

This excerpt was written to me by a very articulate and perceptive gentleman.

“You have a very intriguing website. At first impression the mask seems a strange approach for a gallery, but then on reflection we all wear masks most of the time. Others see our face or look into our eyes, but we try to play a role on the stage of life. Much time is spent attempting to have others see us, as we would like to be seen, not as we are.

We use our mask to keep others from seeing us, as we really perceive ourselves. The irony of your site is the proposal to have your guests take down their masks for a few minutes in the anonymity of a phone call between strangers. You employ an explicit mask for yourself to tempt your caller to drop his own mask.”

In the course of the day, think of the many masks we change into. Or perhaps the continual layers we add. Sometimes I am not sure we are even aware of them. They can become so embedded into our selves. We do become very skilled at using them. Do we wear them as a result of innate human nature, self preservation, shyness, or for enjoyment of the more playful kind of mask, such as Halloween or in erotic play?

Yes we all wear masks. My hope, is that in my chosen profession I have been able to offer you a safe haven to lower your mask for me, if only for a moment.