The Phone Courtesan

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
May 16, 2007, 1:48 pm
Filed under: What Do You... | Tags: , , , ,

Were you ever asked that question when you were a child?

And I assume, depending on your age, you gave the appropriate answer based on your place in childhood at the time. Anything from a cowboy, to a nurse, to a teacher to an astronaut, doctor etc, etc… Personally, I don’t remember how I ever answered that question. But deep in my heart, I always wanted to perform autopsies. And yes, that was years before the CSI world was opened up to us all on television. I loved the idea of digging into the body and discovering what had happened inside that person. Being able to give an answer with dignity and respect as to what had happened in that body, to me was a very important aspect.

Well, that was then. Life has a way of channeling our paths with different experiences and opportunities of the moment. While I sometimes ponder those paths, insert Robert Frost here, : ) I have no regrets. Not even the confusing circumstances, the sad memories, the happy and the memorable ones, that I will treasure forever. If you put all of your moments together, you have you, like it or not. I think the best part, is that we do have a myriad of choices at our fingertips. The least of which, is our attitude and our ability to be open minded to embrace those opportunities life offers us.

So, we fast forward. After 27 years happily immersed in my career as a nanny, to only two families, I was ready for a change. Yes, it’s true. I am a natural born caregiver and very loyal. I care with my whole heart. I offered my young charges stability, warmth, respect, safety, and a listening ear. All sprinkled with the right amount of tolerance, discipline and appropriate boundaries.

Now instead of young charges, I have ‘my men’ that I enjoy. I had no idea I would grow up to be the woman I am now. It is a strange turn of events, and one I am glad I was open minded enough to embrace. My entrepreneurial spirit is no different than any other business minded persons. I have the same business concerns. There are marketing issues, client demographics, emails to answer, advertising, always trying to get the best percentage from my credit card companies and never ending taxes. I eat, breathe and sleep my business, 24/7.

But after all is said and done, and I finally get that moment in time to share with you, I am happy. You see, I get to dig into that body, that mind of yours and discover with you, where we can go. I get to care for you.

I have over time, become very proud of the skills I have. I am fulfilled in many ways knowing that I can bring such warm satisfaction to all of my men.

No, I do not have the conventional job. My work allows me to add to society, not take. I love what I do, and I care about what I do.

We are all blessed to have so many paths to choose from. Follow your hearts desire.

I feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world.

May 14, 2007, 2:33 pm
Filed under: Perfection | Tags: , ,

What is perfection?

I am often asked what my perfect fantasy or scenario etc…is. It got me to thinking.

Where do we all look for perfection? Do we really expect perfection? Is it mostly from ourselves? Is it in our relationships? In our partners bodies or looks? From our children? From our friends? In our work? From our elected officials? In reading these questions all grouped together in thought, most of us would say no, of course not. How difficult would that anal person be to live with? Our life experiences show us, that to be in a relationship with someone who has those true expectations, is surely doomed to fail. There is no way that you could please that kind of friend, lover, parent or boss all of the time.

However, if we separate each question, couldn’t we relate to one or more of those demands we put on others, or worse – ourselves? I don’t know if it is because I am older and wiser, (a chuckle inserted here) or if I am just realizing that trying to attain that level of perfection I have set for myself, can be tiring. We are usually our own harshest critic.

What is one of the greatest realizations I have come to learn about through my phone work?? I now understand my perception of ‘perfection.’

Never fear, I am still very hard on myself. Personally, that will be a life long evolving of learning and understanding. But, at least it gives me something to do, right? ; ) No, my understanding of perfection has been so openly expanded through my work.

It is not always what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.

I now know, “My idea of perfection is a voice on the phone.” Why? It isn’t because you describe yourself to me, and I am turned on. Quite the opposite. Anyone I speak with knows I purposefully don’t want to know what you look like. I take that back, sometimes I like to know the color of your eyes, but I need nothing more from you for me to see you. I realize you are the gift that has been given to me. I feel you. I listen to you. I learn about you. I sense the private you, that is inside you with out ever looking directly at you. I don’t see you with my eyes. I am happy that I have that approach to people, even when I am looking into someone’s eyes.

Another part of perfection for me that I have discovered, is how our connection allows me to feel your touch. They say timing is everything. And ‘they’ are right. There have been times that I hang up, having had my needs met, perfectly. I have learned that my idea of perfection has become ‘that moment’ in time, that I share with someone.Yes, sometimes that does mean I was satisfied through an incredible mutual sexual release with you. But mostly, it is because I have come to know that for what ever reason, we were meant to touch one another at that very moment, and at this time in our lives. You perhaps shared a comment or said the perfect thing to me, that I so badly needed to hear, and you have no idea how you just touched me. I am so lucky to be in my chosen profession.

Having said that, I realize it is those very moments that I strive to make you feel, each and every time. But the wonderful surprise and added joy in my life, is when ‘our’ moment crosses over and you start to touch me and enhance my own life.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is perfection.

To me, perfection is a voice on the phone.