The Phone Courtesan


Garden Porn

I recently read an article titled ‘Garden Porn’. It was a cutesy and fun article. It made me begin to think about my garden in a sexual way. I have always felt my gardening was a very special and erotic, intimate time to spend with nature. So, last weekend, I began to assess what I have going on in my garden. Should I divulge all the secret seductions of my garden? No, of course not. No good gardener would. A few secrets are always good, mysterious and it keeps people wondering about you.

My own garden is doing very well. I container garden everything except my raspberries, and some crookneck squash that I just added to the garden ground this weekend.

In containers – I have tons of herbs – basil – purple, Greek and Siam, lemon and lime thyme, marjoram, red veined and lemon sorrel, lavender, french lavender, french and Texas tarragon, chives, parsley-flat, curly and Italian, dill, celery top leaves, oregano, lemon balm, violets, and sage.

Containers – Lettuces, kale and Swiss chard.

Containers – Tomatoes – 2 grape plants, 4 tumbler tomatoes – 2 red, 2 yellow, 4 husky gold tomato plants, 6 red robin dwarf tomato plants, 2 large patio tomato plants and 1 Roma tomato plant.

Containers – 4 Blueberry Bushes -2 misty blue and 2- jubilee

Containers – Peppers – 4 mild jalapeno, 2 orange bell, 2 red bell, 2 islander purple bells, 1 holy mole, 1 Jamaican hot chocolate and 2 Anaheim.

Containers – 4 fairy tale eggplant, burgundy and green beans, 6 cucumber plants and 3 soybean plants.

Container – strawberries – that have spilled over beautifully and planted all around the whiskey barrel.

In the ground – Two crookneck squash plants in the ground, just to try – as I ran out of large containers. = )

And my raspberries are in the ground – taking over!! This is my third year with them, and they are truly exploding this year!

All gardens carry with them their own set of Garden Spells. All herbs are grown for a reason. I love the combination I can create for very special breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, baking, you name it. I am thrilled when people eat what I create and can’t quite put their finger on the herb they are tasting. Call me crazy, but I find that kind of seduction with taste adds an erotic zest to life.

A walk through my garden will allow you to savor the scents of flowers, herbs, dirt, sun and summer. Your eyes will see the color, the different sizes of arrangements, and the life that is moving all around us. You will find yourself drawn to wanting to touch and feel the budding hard peppers, the long hard green beans, plump tomatoes and the very soft ripe raspberries. And each plant will carry their own essence of soul and spirit. Your eyes, through your memories will tell you how they will taste. You know if it will be sweet or spicy. You know the ways you would contemplate tasting the delights of the garden. Sometimes it might be in it’s raw and natural form, and sometimes you will taste my garden in a very special combination of flavors that slowly marinate and marry with one another before devouring.

A garden is a constant work in progress. It is always asking to be taken care of. A garden is the most natural form of seduction. And a good gardener knows how to tend to it.


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