The Phone Courtesan

Masturbation Quotes
August 25, 2011, 8:03 pm
Filed under: Sex is a Conversation | Tags: , , , ,

“If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.”
-George Carlin

“My brain is my second favorite organ.” -Woody Allen

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
-Lilly Tomlin

“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan’s Island.”
— Ron Jeremy

“The one thing that it seems impossible to escape from, once the habit is formed, is masturbation. It goes on and on, on into old age, in spite of marriage or love affairs or anything else. And it always carries this secret feeling of futility and humiliation, futility and humiliation. And this is, perhaps, the deepest and most dangerous cancer of our civilization. Instead of being a comparatively pure and harmless vice, masturbation is certainly the most dangerous sexual vice that a society can be afflicted with, in the long run. Comparatively pure it may be—purity being what it is. But harmless!!! ”
– D. H. Lawrence

“The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly.”
-Sigmund Freud

“Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.”
-Karl Kraus

“Masturbation is to sex as philosophy is to reality.”
-Karl Marx

“Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners.”
-P. J. O’Rourke

“If you’re going to gamble your lives sexually, don’t play a lone hand too much.”
-Mark Twain

“Marriage is like a game of bridge: if you don’t have a good partner you’d better have a good hand.”
-Mae West

“Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation.”
-Richard Feynman

“My mother caught me.”
-George Costanza from Seinfeld

“We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.”
-Joycelyn Elders, Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

Sexy Blogger Nominations
August 25, 2011, 7:21 pm
Filed under: Sex is a Conversation | Tags: , ,

It is the last week for sexy blogger nominations. Variety is the spice of life. Please nominate any and all of the erotic blogs that you have enjoyed. There are so many erotic bloggers out there. So many needs that are filled by everyday people who speak their minds about sex.

A big thank you to those who have nominated mine. ;))

Go to, and nominate away!

Woody Allen
August 25, 2011, 9:22 am
Filed under: Sex is a Conversation | Tags: , ,

“Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.” ~ Woody Allen

This makes me smile.

Is this one of your favorite sexuality blogs?

If so, nominate it! =)

Yes, it is that time of year again and I need your help to put The Phone Courtesan on the cyber-map.

Simply go to, and nominate my blog. Nominate others you have enjoyed as well, please. There are so many fabulous erotic writers out there. This is a way you can let us know if we have made you smile, made you think, informed you, and dare I hope . . . made you cum. =)

I thank you in advance for your help. Have a wonderful day.

You are gone
August 1, 2011, 5:53 pm
Filed under: Sex is a Conversation | Tags:

I could feel you leave. I am saddened beyond words to lose you.

I am so honored that while you were here you chose me. You allowed me to be the keeper of your secrets, of your desires, of your private and most cherished experiences. Thank you for trusting me and for sharing yourself with me.

I will carry your secrets with me to my grave, just as you did.

You are so very missed.