The Phone Courtesan

The Big 5 0

Yes, I said it. The Big 5 0! That is me now. Saturday the 13th, I turned 50. I found approaching and turning 50 fascinating. I think I always thought of 50 as being ‘old’, and pretty close to being done with your life. Now that I am 50, that seems ridiculous. I do know I never want to go through my 20s ever again. In the beginning of adulthood there is so much to learn, decide and define about yourself. It was mid to late 30s that I really felt I was coming into my own. You know, that knowledge about yourself that you are finally secure in your own beliefs, thoughts, philosophies and that you can’t be easily persuaded by others thoughts and directions. The 40s – how liberating, or so I thought. But, it is the dawn of the 50s that I find I am even more aware. I have the confidence to know that what I feel or know, is definitely right for me. I have never been the type that wants to impart my beliefs on others, as the only way to be. And, I certainly hate having anyone force their beliefs on others.

I find am reveling in the world I have made. I gain such strength and confidence as a woman in this world of ours. I get to hear and learn of so many different thoughts, desires and fetishes. The eroticism and intimacy of that knowledge is so fucking hot to me. It is very empowering for me. I so love my work, and the fantasy worlds we can discover together. I know your secrets, and your fears. I am honored you trust me. In trusting me, I realize you have to surrender a part of yourself to me. I do know how hard that can be.

I have learned that there is no one way to have and enjoy sex. And that my dear in itself is a liberating thought. Why can’t ‘the majority’ get and accept that?

There are so many wonderful places that I get to go with you. You have all opened my sexual life. I am honored that I get to share with you your private journey. I learn so much from you.

If you can believe it, in my 20s I used to be so shy and so nervous about sex. But now, I am 50.

Thank you for going with me on my journey too.

The Kiss

I love my work. How lucky am I to experience such passion, daily. I love knowing that I am able to touch inside a man’s private thoughts as I do. One of my many desires is to make sure that my touch passes to the very core of you. I do want to be the one, that in our moment together on the phone, can take your breath away. I want those forbidden places to become mine.

One would think that in reaching into those places, that we are sharing the epitome of intimacy, of connection, and of touch. And yes, in so many ways we surpass those places. In actuality this private venue of the phone, allows for an even deeper penetration into those secret places that we all hold deep within. I enjoy the unveiling, and the sometimes sweet torturous process it takes to find you.

My time with you is complete and so very, very satisfying and fulfilling for me, on a myriad of levels. I am absolutely renewed as I know I have brought you down the path that you need. Your journey is so important to me.

So, what do I sometimes miss in all of this?

I miss the kiss.

I love kissing.

I miss the anticipation of the kiss.

If you have ever experienced the kind of kiss that takes your breath away, that makes your heart stop, that makes your head spin, then you know what I am talking about. And, there are no words to describe that.

There are so many kinds of kisses.

I miss the kiss.

Valentines 2007
February 18, 2007, 6:45 pm
Filed under: Valentines 2007 | Tags: , , ,

I needed to wait a few days to make sure that I had in fact survived the media hype of being alone on Valentines Day. Luckily, I did. I say this tongue in cheek, as to me there is a huge difference to being alone on Valentines Day, and being lonely on Valentines Day. I am very fortunate, as I know now, in my wise older years, that it is a choice I make rather to be in a relationship or to be alone. I have also learned that I get to choose the ‘arms’ of that relationship, when I am in one. When you think about it, we all have many kinds of relationships that surround us. We give and receive from all of them on some level.
If you were ‘lonely’ and unhappy on Valentines Day – that makes my heart sad for you. And, I send wishes your way, so that by next year you can implement the various things needed to shape your life in a different direction. But, if you were alone – as I was, I hope it was as peaceful and relaxing to you as any other day of being alone can be.
I am attracted to men, and I love playing around with them – but to have a life together – 24/7, you have to be able to compromise. My happiest and saddest moment came when I realized that I did not want to compromise in the ways it takes for a long term committed relationship. For the most part, there has been a peace in that realization.
On the other hand – Bravo ( !! ) to those that can and do. My heart is touched, usually to tears when I see that older couple still walking hand in hand. There is such a comfortable togetherness that emanates from them. It is such a private intimacy to witness.
My wish for you on Valentines Day, and everyday, is really very simple. I hope you know yourself, and that you are content with that person.

February 4, 2007, 7:34 am
Filed under: Masks | Tags: , , , ,

I am so often asked about my use of masks.

This excerpt was written to me by a very articulate and perceptive gentleman.

“You have a very intriguing website. At first impression the mask seems a strange approach for a gallery, but then on reflection we all wear masks most of the time. Others see our face or look into our eyes, but we try to play a role on the stage of life. Much time is spent attempting to have others see us, as we would like to be seen, not as we are.

We use our mask to keep others from seeing us, as we really perceive ourselves. The irony of your site is the proposal to have your guests take down their masks for a few minutes in the anonymity of a phone call between strangers. You employ an explicit mask for yourself to tempt your caller to drop his own mask.”

In the course of the day, think of the many masks we change into. Or perhaps the continual layers we add. Sometimes I am not sure we are even aware of them. They can become so embedded into our selves. We do become very skilled at using them. Do we wear them as a result of innate human nature, self preservation, shyness, or for enjoyment of the more playful kind of mask, such as Halloween or in erotic play?

Yes we all wear masks. My hope, is that in my chosen profession I have been able to offer you a safe haven to lower your mask for me, if only for a moment.