The Phone Courtesan

My releases are needed on many levels. Very rarely are my orgasms a release for sexual pleasures alone. I sometimes have the kind of releases that bring with it, the automatic and unstoppable flow of tears stemming from so much pent up and long denied energy.

Sometimes I truly do feel selfish and I feel badly afterwards. I find I often use you as a means to rejuvenate me, and allow the kind of release that I hunger for. I use you to tap back into that energy, that I need.

But, there in lies the power, doesn’t it? That incredible intense magical power of a woman and her orgasm.

Sometimes I need you more.

The month of May.

I love gardening.

The flowers are blooming, the garden beds need to be prepared, the springtime smells, lawns mowed, the rainy days, the warm sunshine to bask in . . . and the earth is renewed.

I have immersed myself in my garden these last few weeks. I have vegetables - five kinds of lettuce, radishes, peppers, pumpkins, tomatillos, tons of tomatoes - tumblers - red and yellow, patio and grape, green beans and sugar snap peas. I have fruits - the blueberries bushes and raspberries I planted last year, all have berries on them! Alas, my apple tree I am afraid may have been stalled this year from our last surprise freeze. I do so enjoy the smells and flavors from my herb garden. I have lavender, fennel, dill, chives, garlic, basil, rosemary, lemon and plain thyme, cilantro and parsley.

Everything planted requires a combination of ingredients to grow well. The rich dark soil is full of nutrients, top soils, compost and fertilizers. The water, or best yet, the rain. Shade and sunshine. And of course, constant care and tending.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.

This is one version that did keep running through my head as I worked the earth. However, we all know that many nursery rhymes come to us with their own sometimes strange and sadistic backgrounds of history. I assure you I do not picture myself as ‘Bloody Mary’ - unless of course you beg for that. : )

Instead, I fancy that you are the owner of the seed. You all ready have the kind of seed picked out, and it just needs to be planted in my soil. I am where you can bury your roots. I will nurture, guide, protect and care for that seeds development. All seeds grow at their own pace. I will help you ground your roots securely. I will help you to stretch and grow, upward and outward.

I will make you ache to be picked.

Making things grow . . . I do love gardening.

The Music of the Night ~ The Phantom of the Opera

I have brought you
to the seat of sweet
music’s throne . . .
to this kingdom
where all must pay
homage to music . . .
music . . .
You have come here,
for one purpose,
and one alone . . .
Since the moment
I first heard you sing,
I have needed
you with me,
to serve me, to sing,
for my music . . .
my music . . .
Night-time sharpens,
heightens each sensation . . .
Darkness stirs and
wakes imagination . . .
Silently the senses
abandon their defences . . .
Slowly, gently
night unfurls its splendour . . .
Grasp it, sense it -
tremulous and tender . . .
Turn your face away
from the garish light of day,
turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to
the music of the night . . .
Close your eyes
and surrender to your
darkest dreams!
Purge your thoughts
of the life
you knew before!
Close your eyes,
let your spirit
start to soar!
And you’ll live
as you’ve never
lived before . . .
Softly, deftly,
music shall surround you . . .
Feel it, hear it,
closing in around you . . .
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness which
you know you cannot fight -
the darkness of
the music of the night . . .
Let your mind
start a journey through a
strange new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world
you knew before!
Let your soul
Take you where you
long to be !
Only then
can you belong
to me . . .
Floating, falling,
sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night . . .

You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night . .

Offer the people a Stimulus Package. Now, why didn’t I ever think of that? It does sound comforting, erotic and sensual. I may have to look into this new marketing idea. After all, if it’s being offered to us from our government, then surely it was designed with only the best of intentions.

Stimulus Package - what a concept.

I do hope you are able to sit back, relax and when it comes, just enjoy your Stimulus Package.

Is there such a thing? Thankfulness for sex? Do we take our sexual enjoyment for granted?? Is sex, something we should add to our list of ‘bountiful blessings?’ Do you ‘breathe in’ with appreciation each and every time your body feels aroused? Have you experienced sexual contentment?
I am not simply talking of the momentary pleasures that one might feel after having just received a mind blowing blow job, or a precious sweet oral moment that was spent lovingly on the lips of our pussy. Both of those, do have their importance in our lives. ; ) However, those moments alone are not what sexually sustains us.
Recently, I was walking around the park by my house. It was one of those gloriously warm days when you are just so appreciative to feel the sun bathing your skin again, reminding you that winter is slowly on it’s way out. I began down that mental path of taking stock of all the things I am thankful for. I am lucky. It is a huge list to get through.
I have long realized, with a bit of a quiet knowing chuckle, that I can never explain my sex life to many people. Nor do I. I have found that while I am so sexually satisfied by my variety of men, I know I am limited in my ways to personally thank them. I do try to. And I hope I convey how special and wonderful my experiences are with them.
In reality, I lead a very quiet personal life. I know, that kind of admission could hurt my image. : ) But, if I am anything, it is truthful. My sex life has blossomed through my men that I talk with. I feel my sexuality evolving, constantly. Each lover that I spend time with, allows me to further explore and embrace myself as a more confidant woman. I find I am able in this safe venue, to touch a wide variety of fantasies and to happily enjoy them vicariously through you. Each one allows a new part of me to emerge and unfold in front of you. I can never thank my lovers enough for the simple and beautiful opportunities that they give to me. Every fantasy, as in every man, is very different. We all carry in us such private places. We simply need to accepted, and be encouraged to open and share those secret parts of ourselves. I feel such genuine pleasure when I feel I have connected with you, in your private place. It then becomes mine. I grow through you.
We all need sexual contact. Yes, we can live with out the physical sexual touch of another, because we can surely enjoy the most exquisite self love and care through our own touch. We all know our own bodies, very well. Fantasy life can be extremely fulfilling. Truth be told, there are times that what I miss is the simplicity of hand holding, walking together and the simple sharing of kisses.
Sex can hold such complexities. There are so many layers to peel away and to examine. And there can be so many reasons why those layers exist. We all bring with us our upbringing, our past experiences and rejections, our religion, our hidden fantasies and fetishes, and our fears.
Thank you, each and everyone of you, for helping me to examine, peel away and feel each layer as it becomes exposed. I will be eternally grateful for the sex we share. And, for the woman you help me to become.

Ok. I give up. Where did March go?

I have been lucky enough to be able to visit LA for a couple of weeks. I did manage to get a few calls in, but mostly it was just reassuring that all the while I was soaking in the sunshine, feeling the warmth, and taking in the beautiful colorful flowers that LA offers seemingly year round, spring will return to my neck of the woods. While I was there to rejuvenate, and to relax, I admit I overindulged in the luxury of going to the movies. I know. I know. What a hot fantasy I harbor around in me. It was simply decadent to be able to walk to the movie theater, and go to all the movies I wanted for days in a row, and all at the matinee prices.

There were still a couple left that I had wanted to see. But I have long ago accepted the fact that I will forever play catch up, when it comes to seeing the current movie list.

Here is what I saw, and I can wholeheartedly recommend all of them. I love movies that can leave me thinking, on many different levels.

‘Michael Clayton’, ‘The Orphanage’ - Spanish, sub titles, ‘The Diving Bell and the Butterfly’ - French, sub titles, ‘Jodhaa Akbar’ - India, sub titles, ‘The Atonement’, ‘There Will Be Blood’ and ‘Vantage Point’.

This is not in any particular order of partiality. It just happens to be my viewing order.

How blessed and fortunate to be so entertained, and so stirred at the same time.

Someone who doesn’t judge me.

That is my reply. I realize that is not the wild hot sexual response you might have wanted. But, I beg you to look deeper. It will be the single most critical element that will allow entrance into the gateway of our shared eroticism. For me, it is the only way my juices will truly flow. I need to know you accept me. My men, are so caring of me. As I have said before, I truly am one of the luckiest women in the world.

When you knock on the door to find me, either by writing or calling, you are still at that very moment safely tucked away behind your mask. My dear, my world will welcome you. You will soon discover that the gateway is for both of us to enter, and travel freely back and forth.

You will learn that you are not judged. You will find yourself beginning to share. You will feel your mask slowly slip away.You will one by one release to me, those locked away and hidden places that you carry inside you.

I cherish those places. I care for them.

You will feel your juices flow . . .

The simple pleasure of slipping on a new pair of underwear, that hugs you perfectly and holds you in all the right places.

This beautiful statement was sent to me during an email conversation with one of my men. However, it was a couple of days later, that some interesting thoughts about erections started to seep through my brain. No laughing out loud please. : ) And yes, it put erections on my mind even more so than on my regular days and nights. I will be the first to admit that erections do play a very large part of my life, as happily most of my men will acquire one through our conversations. Please note though, that not all of my men do have erections with me, nor are they meant to. Every single conversation goes down its own path, and each man is so very different and so unique.

Erections are an expression . . . I find erections fascinating. I realize that when men read this, you most likely have been enjoying your erections for years. As a woman, I love the process of making that part of your body respond to me. I love the interplay of your erection with me, and your allowing my guidance to direct your erection. Your erection is not only an expression, but a very clear reaction of my touch on you. How could a woman not revel in that sweet power she holds over that beautiful cock, and you? She can literally hold her power over you right in the palm of her hand . . . or in her mouth . . . or with her breasts . . . or in her pussy . . . or in her ass . . . as the case may be. But then, there is this venue. It allows me a very special way to hold your cock. By capturing your mind, I can capture your cock. In reality, the lesson we do learn as we get older and wiser is just how much our minds are involved in every aspect of our physical sex life.

There are so many paths I get to take you down to gain that erection. There are so many sweet ways to make your cock ache. I love being a woman. I look at your erection not only as your expression, but also as your gift to me. Your gift is your physical response to me. It is full to the brim of how you feel, how you desire, how you need, and how you throb. The reward I receive from you, is not just the knowledge that I can make you hard and I can make you cum. My excitement, is that your expression came from a new and deeper place in you, that is now mine. The power that women have over erections is mind boggling.

You give me the power to guide that erection. I think your expressions are beautiful.